Show Your Love by Setting Limits...

When it comes to enforcing rules, sometimes parents just give in. Why? Perhaps they want their child to be happy. Maybe they're tired. Or they simply don't want to argue. Yet setting limits is a fundamental parent responsibility. It teaches children right from wrong. It keeps them safe. And it shows that parents care enough to say "NO".

These tips can help:

• Pick limits that really matter. Make a few (not too many) enforceable, essential rules. Write them down. When your child can remember what's expected of him, it will be easier for him to behave.
• Talk with your child about limits. Explain why certain ones are important. Help him imagine what would happen if no one followed rules. Understanding goes a long way toward helping children obey.
• Choose consequences that make sense. If possible, decide on them ahead of time. "If you don't pick up your clothes, then I won't wash them when I do laundry." The best consequences are logical and fair.
• Stick to the rules you make. This tells your child, "I mean what I say. I put your well-being first, no matter what." When he does a good job, let him know! Give specific, genuine compliments.

Source: Dan Kindlon, "Loving Ways to Set Limits," ivillage, http://parenting.ivillage.com/gs/gsbehavior/0,,bwvg-p,00.html

My fifth grader cannot stand math. She rushes through homework and makes careless mistakes. What can I do to help?

Fifth grade is a critical year. Students this age need to master basic math skills NOW to prevent falling behind later. So it's important that you help your child see that math is important... and that she CAN do it. Talk about how math relates to things she enjoys. Does she like sports? Suggest that she keep statistics on a favorite player. Is she good at saving money? Let her open a savings account and keep track of the balance. Also help her understand how math is used in daily life. Put her in charge of figuring out how many miles your car travels on a gallon of gas. Have her research something she want the family to buy. How could everyone cut costs to save funds? Compliment her efforts! Since she has to learn basic facts, try using flash cards. Go through them together. She can even quiz YOU! Agree to do something fun afterwards. Meanwhile, set a specific amount of time for math homework. If she finishes early, she should review. Look over the assignment together before and after she works. Talk with the teacher if problems don't resolve quickly. Copyright ©2005 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc., www.parent-institute.com

How involved are you in education?
Parents have a key role to play in helping children succeed in school. Answer the following questions "yes" or "no" to see whether you're doing your part!

Even more ideas...

• Reading aloud is ESSENTIAL ~ Reading aloud with your child -- and having him read aloud to you -- is essential to building his language skills. Here is a relaced way to spend read-aloud time...
  • Pick something to read that your child enjoys. Look for a book that he can read
    without much trouble...
  • Use lots of enthusiasm when you read. This keeps your child interested. Take turns reading after each sentence, paragraph or chapter...
  • Don't worry if your child makes mistakes. When he struggles, offer gentle guidance and help. Say how proud you are of him!
• Negative Comments Can Hurt Your Child's Confidence ~ A child's self-confidence can be tied to how she feels about her body. Don't make negative comments about your child's (or anybody else's) body shape or weight. Critical words -- even jokes -- can have harmful effects.
• Put homework BEFORE Television ~ Many children spend more time watching TV than doing homework. But learning should be a priority. Schedule homework time first.
• Grades K-2, homework time should last about 10-20 minutes...
• Grades 3-6, 30-60 minutes is standard...
• Set TV limits and talk about them with your child. How long can he watch? Which programs? Supervise to make sure your gudelines are followed.

Source: "My Child's Academic Success," U.S. Department of Education, www.ed.gov/parents/academic/help/homework/index.html

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